Me: Saturday, I took a girl out for dinner and drinks

Me: Went in for a hug at the end of the night and got negged

Me: It was like I had a stick with dog shit on it and was threatening to touch her with it

Me: She just cowered away

Curt: In China, hug = third base…You moved too quickly

Curt: Need understand culture, Grasshopper

Curt: Tell me the story

Curt: Was she hot?

Me: Yeah. Gorgeous body. Real pretty eyes

Me: The guys where we met her said she had an “unusual figure”

Curt: Huh?

Me: Tall, larger than average boobs

Curt: Always a plus. She speak good Engrish?

Me: Yes. So Saturday I took her out

Me: After dinner, as we were walking she said

Me: “You know, they say in China that a walk after dinner leads to a long night”

Me: Or that’s what I thought she said

Curt: Bwahahaha! Like a bad B movie

Me: They confuse their “N”s and “L”s over here. She really said “long life.” She shouldn’t have got my hopes up mispronuncing words like that

Curt: Haha, yeah

Curt: How did you straighten it out after she rejected you?

Curt: Stutter something like “but I thought… but you were… but we-”

Me: I started laughing out loud

Me: She was like, “I am more comfortable shaking hands”

Me: I should have given her the Scooby-Doo “HUH!?”

Curt: Thats hilarious. So you really laughed in her face when she wouldnt hug you?

Me: It was one of the “Ha ha huh whAAT!?” laughs

Curt: Ha, nice work. But you shook her hand . . . so that evened your classiness right out

Curt: How did the date go? You think you were in like Flynn?

Me: Like the Mighty Quinn. I had a good time up until the hug that wasn’t there. In class Monday I told my students the story

Me: They said “What if you go back and tell your friends you didn’t have a girlfriend?”

Me: I said “Listen, If I go back and tell my friends I didn’t have a girlfriend, I’ll get ridiculed; but If I go back to America and tell my friends that I dropped cash on some girl for three months and all I got was a HUG, I’d get laughed all the way back to China.”