Me: Saturday, I took a girl out for dinner and drinks
Me: Went in for a hug at the end of the night and got negged
Me: It was like I had a stick with dog shit on it and was threatening to touch her with it
Me: She just cowered away
Curt: In China, hug = third base…You moved too quickly
Curt: Need understand culture, Grasshopper
Curt: Tell me the story
Curt: Was she hot?
Me: Yeah. Gorgeous body. Real pretty eyes
Me: The guys where we met her said she had an “unusual figure”
Me: Tall, larger than average boobs
Curt: Always a plus. She speak good Engrish?
Me: Yes. So Saturday I took her out
Me: After dinner, as we were walking she said
Me: “You know, they say in China that a walk after dinner leads to a long night”
Me: Or that’s what I thought she said
Curt: Bwahahaha! Like a bad B movie
Me: They confuse their “N”s and “L”s over here. She really said “long life.” She shouldn’t have got my hopes up mispronuncing words like that
Curt: Haha, yeah
Curt: How did you straighten it out after she rejected you?
Curt: Stutter something like “but I thought… but you were… but we-”
Me: I started laughing out loud
Me: She was like, “I am more comfortable shaking hands”
Me: I should have given her the Scooby-Doo “HUH!?”
Curt: Thats hilarious. So you really laughed in her face when she wouldnt hug you?
Me: It was one of the “Ha ha huh whAAT!?” laughs
Curt: Ha, nice work. But you shook her hand . . . so that evened your classiness right out
Curt: How did the date go? You think you were in like Flynn?
Me: Like the Mighty Quinn. I had a good time up until the hug that wasn’t there. In class Monday I told my students the story
Me: They said “What if you go back and tell your friends you didn’t have a girlfriend?”
Me: I said “Listen, If I go back and tell my friends I didn’t have a girlfriend, I’ll get ridiculed; but If I go back to America and tell my friends that I dropped cash on some girl for three months and all I got was a HUG, I’d get laughed all the way back to China.”