8:50 – 10 Minutes to the finale! Tom is getting ripped a new one by the judges from the last show.
8:57 – My favorite part of this season so far coming up … Aria getting booted.
8:58 – It’s only an hour? Scripps, this is the best television you have, right? It’s your biggest draw of the year. Why is the season only ten episodes long? Why is the finale only one hour long? Thank God you figured out the NFNS After Party on the Cooking Channel.
9:03 – Whenever they start with someone, I always figure that guy is going home. Here’s the lineup tonight: first to talk, Tom, Second; Herb, Third, Artie. Damn.
9:05 – YUM-O. I can’t bear to watch Rachael Ray’s daytime shows, but her talk show is pretty good. I’m in the camp that daytime Food Network TV is pretty much unwatchable. Fat people cooking one thing for an entire episode … why did anyone greenlight these abominations to begin with?
9:06 – Artie is going to make a pizza with Naan and Rachael Ray says “That sounds really accessible!” Uhh, does she know what Naan is? Where are Americans going to get Naan? There are twenty places to get naan in a mile of me, but not the average American.
9:08 – I’ve been on the bottom floor of the building they’re filming this episode in. Gotta see if I can make it to the top floor one of these days …
9:08 – Either they cut these two pieces together or this is Rachael not really giving a fuck about Herb’s personal battles:
9:09 – Herb: We know what we’re going out there to do. He’s looking at Tom like he’s got it in the bag … I liked him, before, but now, I don’t know about this guy.
9:10 – Herb’s up first so I get to bust on him the hardest. JUST KIDDING ARTIE! You know I’m going to rip you a new one! So Herb went over time … How far over time?
Longer than he had before the take. This is pretty much expected for your first try
9:12 – Herb knocks it out of the park. Seriously, I’m impressed with everything but “Mom, you just sugared me up,” because I don’t know what that means. His snippets looked pretty awesome. Hard not to like this pilot if everything looks as good as that. I still think that none of these contestants are as polished as Jeffrey Saad.
9:19 – Damn. Artie’s pilot looked good, too -it looked great. Don’t care about her mom, though.
9:25 – I love Tom, but from the cuts they’re giving me, I don’t love his pilot. He definitely had the best outtakes:
9:32 – Herb’s pilot has got to be the best. I know I haven’t seen the other two yet, but it’s just damn awesome. They didn’t give me any indication that it wasn’t going to be the best. There’s not a lot to laugh about in this show – I hope these audience members are nasty to the contestants – I’m working with nothing here.
9:33 – They weren’t nasty with Herb.
9:35 – Artie’s show looks boring, but I don’t think it’s Artie’s best work. That’s probably the nicest thing I’ve ever said about her. Herb is still the clear favorite.
9:41 – Tom’s pilot is way better than Artie’s. They cut the audience reactions to give us the impression that they loved Tom’s pilot the most:
Of course, they love to misdirect … I liked Herb’s pilot a bit better, but I’m still pulling for the Big Chef victory. Still, no huge gaffes this episode, no big comedic blunders. The closest they’ve come to comedy so far is showing a picture of Guy Fieri.
9:50 – Bobby: We love everyone, everyone could be a star. You all have great qualities, it’s going to be tough to choose. We’re so sorry only one of you will be The Next Food Network Star … Saying that took five minutes.
9:56 – Bob says Herb’s pilot was the roughest. What does he mean by roughest? He needed to drop the “girlish figure” and “sugared up” comments and he’d be all set. Herb has the biggest upside. I feel like the Sports Guy (kinda).
9:57 – Susie brings up Artie’s psychotherapy bills again. If you want your health plan to drop you, pick Artie.
9:57 – If you only listened to what the editors gave us in the last three minutes, you’d think it was a two horse race between Tom and Herb. If you’ve been watching the whole season, you know they’re just dying to pick Artie. I’m thinking I might have picked the wrong person to hate on all year. If she can avoid the ukelele and saying crispydoodle, I might have to change my mind about her. Hopefully, I’ll never have to see her again in three minutes.
9:58 – Bobby: (to the focus group) You can rest assured that we will take your thoughts on these pilots into consideration. The focus groups like the other two people’s shows better, and you pick Artie. Lame.
9:59 – Bloomberg just downgraded Blue Cross to a hold. Do I have to call her Aarti now? Ugh. If her show lasts more than a season, I’m going to end up meeting her some day. That’s going to be an awkward conversation.
