Don’t you hate it when you write three or four paragraphs of a blog post and then delete it accidentally by clicking in the wrong place? Me too. You try to remember what you’ve written and get it back onto the screen, thinking it will be faster when you type it this time, but It’s only slightly faster than thinking up something completely new. Am I rambling or does anyone sympathize with me?

I can say that I’ve been to the Limelight Nightclub. A lot of New Yorkers I know never went. I was here in 1999 on an internship doing Y2K stuff for the NYSE (you’re welcome) and went once. I thought I was the shit. That was the night someone offered me ecstasy. I asked about what it did for him.

“Oh man, I mean, I can dance with girls, talk to girls, I’m not afraid of that at all. It’s very freeing.”

Here, I was thinking “I have no trouble talking to girls. My thing is that I believe that If I ran fast enough, I could probably jump and hang onto a subway.” I held off after that, but eleven years later, I might be open to experimenting.

I figured for this post, I’d do a contest: Post your best Limelight story in the comments section (pre or post marketplace) and win a lunch with me somewhere in the city, my treat. You can have an anonymous name, but please make sure it’s your correct e-mail. Only I see the e-mail.

I didn’t want to make this post all about Red Velvet Whoopie Pies, but those are the pictures that I have. Red Velvet Whoopie Pie pictures. I tried to get a shot of the gelato, but it came out blurry. Why? The table that it was on was wobbly. I don’t understand why it wobbled, why they didn’t fix it, or why it was even wobbly in the first place. I think the marketplace had been open a month when I first checked it out – certainly not enough time for tables to start wobbling.

The Red Velvet Whoopie Pies weren’t even that good:

I’m positive that the regular whoopie pies tasted exactly the same as the red velvet ones. What’s different about the ingredients? If anything, less cocoa?

Right now, the annoying new hotness in the foodie community is the Heirloom Tomato. Earlier this year it was Ramps. Someone just put Red Velvet Cake Crumbs in a fried chicken recipe. I’m not going to link it and don’t bother searching for it; it’s lame. I hereby declare the Red Velvet craze to be officially over.

Gotta admit, It does look pretty tasty.

My hand model is Dominique, she was eschewing desserts today because she’s more of an appetizer girl and we were both full anyway. The thing that I want to know is when cupcakes jumped the shark? Now it’s macarons, but I don’t like those either. I don’t know when the cupcake craze became played out, but American gluttony is keeping them around for a second act. Someone told me that they saw ten tourist women the size of offensive linemen lining up outside Magnolia a couple days ago. In matching shirts. Don’t worry, we’ll cover that medicaid bill with our tax dollars for you; you just go ahead and annihilate that cupcake. Oh, fine, have the whole dozen; who’s counting? The reason why sites like TIWYF.com and ScooterFatties exist is because cupcakes are fucking fattening.

How does it get to the point where people don’t make their health a priority? I had a job lined up before my last semester of college. I didn’t have to play fall lacrosse with the team, I didn’t have to get good grades, I didn’t have to work – I just smoked weed and drank beer the entire time. I got up to 227 lbs. I felt like a whale. I weighed in at 190 for lacrosse the prior season (37 pounds in four months! WTF). Then I went to China and got back down to 200 in no time, but I haven’t been 190 since. Most of my friends are amazed that I can gain and lose weight so quickly, especially when writing a food blog. I just feel like it’s willpower. There are other areas in my life where I’d like more willpower, but I’ll take what I got for now.

By the way, our next stop …

We had the Boston Cream (or Kreme, or Creme – I don’t know how they spelled it).

Wish I’d kept this around for my gelato; I have a feeling that the Cappucino Gelato/Boston Cream mix would have been quite gratifying. This was the best bite here, but we only had three things, so I can’t tell you this is a thorough review of the marketplace.

Here’s a picture of something I didn’t eat but looks goddamned delectable:

Little … miniature … wedding cakes. Completely reminding me of little chocolate donuts. You gotta watch that right now.

One other thing that I bought here was this gizmo:

It’s a plastic tea ball. You put your tea in there and close it up. Voila – tea ball (and stirrer).

Here’s a thorough review for you: this thing is fucking worthless. It expands and doesn’t clasp shut after two or three uses, you can’t put a lot of tea in, and when you do, sometimes it doesn’t close and it opens in your cup and leaves you with an entire mug of tea leaves. Don’t buy this. I don’t know if I’d even trust Miss Tea with any of their non-edibles. If they recommended this to me, and they were that wrong, I wouldn’t believe them if they tried to sell me something else.

Aside from the wobbly table and the shitty deco tea ball, this place is money. I am going to be spending a lot of time a few blocks away from this place, so I might have to swing by for some more desserts.

Just saved, published. Whew. I missed a whole separate rant about Red Velvet! I’ll save that for another time. Cake Man Raven, perhaps?

REMEMBER: Post your best Limelight story in the comments section (pre or post marketplace) and win a lunch with me somewhere in the city, my treat! Looking forward to the stories!

Limelight Marketpalce
656 6th Avenue
New York, NY 10013
Multiple Phone Numbers