Jason Anello and I met at Internet week 2010. He was speaking on a panel about interactive somethingorother and food. All I heard was food. I went up to him, introduced myself, handed him my card, but I didn’t realize that was going to mean punishment such as I was dealt at the Stand.

Jason runs a site called Forking Tasty, and he regularly hosts underground dinner parties in NYC. Was that too obvious with the SEO plug there? Well too damn bad, readers. It’s one of the only powers I have on this blog and I’ll wield it with reckless abandon. I was not promised any free dinner parties in return for that link (and we split the bill at the stand), so it’s legit. We also ran into each other at a Michelin Chef event in September. Nice guy, and he makes a mean Chicken Cacciatore.

Jason had been here a bunch of times before but had never been to Num Pang, right across the street. He put it on his to-do list. His brother walked in when we were eating and ran across the street to try it for the first time – I don’t think we got the verdict on it from him (I loved mine but it was messy – I haven’t written a review yet) as he was carrying it away in the bag when we left the restaurant.

The Cucumber Salad was Jason’s first side choice and the best one we had. A refreshing compliment to the carby, salty, greasy, baby-seal sized burger I was about to undertake.

The Fries were bad. They were just a tad cold, and if fries lose just a little heat and turn bad, they’re awful fries. Maybe I had a bad batch, but I don’t recommend these.

These Onion Rings would have been a nice adjunct to the burger I had (you’ll see that in a second). Second favorite side. I mean, the fries were terrible, so it didn’t take much to beat them. The rings were not as crispy as I would have liked them. I expect all my onion ring experiences to be amazing and I remember this one as just average.

Yeah, the turkey burger is a bit out of focus. You’ll have to excuse me – I left my memory card at home and could only take ten pictures. Yes, I know that doesn’t give me an excuse to show you blurry pictures (I could have taken twelve more and kept the one that was awesome), but this is one of the last posts you’ll have to read where I use the DSC-TX5 and not my snazzy new T2i. Love that new camera!

I’m not much one for Turkey Burgers, but this one wasn’t dry and the meat was pretty flavorful. When a food blogger says that you gotta order the turkey burger at a burger joint, it’s probably going to be good. I never order turkey burgers, so this will be the last one of these reviews you’ll see here for a while.

Jason also ordered the classic Stand Burger. Yes. He ordered two burgers. I told you he was hardcore (anyone get that reference?). I had this bite over two months ago and didn’t take too many notes, must have been because this was a pretty forgettable burger in comparison to the (DA da DAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH) Bold Burger.

Look at that motherfucker. You must be at least 5’1″ to eat this burger, because if you aren’t, this grease is going to plug your tiny little arteries. Here’s the description:

Brioche, two seven ounce beef patties, applewood smoked bacon, sauteed onions, American and Cheddar cheese, pickle, tomato, chipotle sauce, and a fried egg

Here’s the video of me trying to fit all of those ingredients in my mouth in one bite:

I loved every minute of it. I can’t give you tasting notes because I ate it so fast I might not have actually tasted it. Got through that bahoimoth (I know you got that one) before Jason finished half that sissy turkey burger.

I am sorry to admit (to my sponsor) that my favorite part of my Stand experience was my the Hazlenut Chocolate Alcoholic Shake. Why did you have to put Alcoholic right in the title? Are you mocking me?

If there’s a must-order at this place, it’s definitely the booze shake. I’m guessing it was just a chocolate milkshake with Frangelico, but it worked for me.

The aftermath: I fall asleep on a stoop somewhere on 12th and am roused by a police officer about an hour later. Camera, phone, and wallet intact, I head back to work.

That didn’t actually happen, but It’s not far from the truth. Luckily, I had a couch in my office.

Damn you, Anello. I’ll get you yet.

Stand Burger
24 E 12th St
New York, NY 10003
(212) 488-5900