OK, now this doesn’t look that bad:

The purpose of the protocol is to localize the neural regions and systems mediating the forms of knowledge representations hypothesized by the principal investigator to be stored in the human prefrontal cortex. Utilizing a variety of experimental neuropsychological tasks during functional MRI, we will investigate hypotheses regarding the role of the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex in planning, problem solving, economic exchange and reasoning; and the role of ventromedial prefrontal cortex in social cognition and emotional processing. We will ascertain the relationship between so-called cold cognitive processes such as planning and hot social processes such as mate choice and specific brain regions within the prefrontal cortex. We will also attempt to determine the relationship between non-frontal neural structures involved in emotional expression, such as the amygdala, and those frontal neural structures involved in executive functions that may modulate emotion. In addition, we will attempt to determine the requirements for frontal-parietal versus frontal-temporal network involvement in spatial landmark tasks. The data that we collect in this protocol will be of value in identifying a set of neural regions and distributed networks mediating the forms of knowledge representation stored in the prefrontal cortex. These questions will be addressed over seven separate studies with healthy, normal adult volunteers. The studies will employ within- and between-subject, event-related fMRI designs. The data collected will consist of behavioral measures of cognitive and emotional performance/judgment and corresponding fMRI images.

So I get to play an active role in stroke research by lying in an MRI and answering “hot or not” questions . . . and I get paid?

Do they validate?

I think I’m gonna have to pass on the test named “Functional Neuroimaging of Calculus Problem Solving.” Show me my mate choices. No, wait . . .

This study will examine the role of the brain chemical dopamine in people’s response to alcohol consumption.

Oh yes. And the Trogdor comes in the night.