You know what I hate? This pattern. It’s fucking EVERYWHERE! Who decided all the sudden that Burberry was the thing to wear? Enough already!

The thing is, unless you live in or near a metropolitan area, you’re not going to have a clue what I’m talking about. You’ll think that I’m nuts. You’ll try and tell me something like, “Dude, it’s just a scarf.”

Oh yeah? Well if it’s not the virus infecting the necks of our women that I claim it to be, tell me why the company that owns the patent on the pattern has this statement one click away from their start page?

Not so tough anymore with your non-anti-Burberry ideology. It’s out there. And you thought it was just a scarf . . . Please.

Go to Google, and you get this. There are SIX different companies paying every single time someone looks at or clicks on those highlighted links! All for the word “Burberry.” Click on the Neiman Marcus link! It costs their company money and benefits one of my favorites. Soon enough, Neiman Marcus’ marketing will notice that their clickthrough/online buyer percentage is going down for that search, they will stop sponsoring the ad, the fashion will fall out of vogue, and Burberry will be put to shame! I’ll link to it, sure . . . What are you gonna buy there? Surely these items will tickle that fancy of yours:

“You probably use your cellphone several times a day, so why not carry it in a stylish case? This instantly recognizable print is the signature of this century-old English firm. Seen on everything from bikinis to scarves, it’s the chicest check around.

“

“Pamper your pooch with a classic—a Burberry reversible classic check blanket. Fringe adds another trendy touch for your style-setting dog. “

You can gets all yo’ bitches sumpin’ from Burberry this X-Mas. Something every girlfriend and man’s best friend with a mundane sense of style and a bent on conformity will absolutely love!