Her: My friend is pissed at me because I was supposed to go tubing today. I wanted to, but I didn’t wake up
Her: She thinks I did it to make her mad
Me: Why would you want to miss tubing?
Her: REALLY! Beer. River. Sun. Why would I not be there?
Her: She apparently called this morning and thought I was avoiding her by not answering
Me: She’s retarded; tubing rocks
Her: It does, but whatever; I told her I was sorry. I don’t know what she wants from me
Her: Do they have milkshakes in China?
Me: Yeah, but they don’t call them shakes
Me: They call them partially gelatinous non-dairy gum-based beverages
Her: Mmmmmm, sounds tasty!
Her: So I have to go for a friendship milkshake now
Me: What the hell is that?
Her: It’s a milkshake I am buying so Erin won’t be mad at me about tubing
Me: I got ya. I guess my friends just don’t need as much stroking
Her: Yeah, well, boys are weird. They punch each other and then like fall down laughing
Her: Sometimes farting is like better than an apology
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