Her: My friend is pissed at me because I was supposed to go tubing today. I wanted to, but I didn’t wake up

Her: She thinks I did it to make her mad

Me: Why would you want to miss tubing?

Her: REALLY! Beer. River. Sun. Why would I not be there?

Her: She apparently called this morning and thought I was avoiding her by not answering

Me: She’s retarded; tubing rocks

Her: It does, but whatever; I told her I was sorry. I don’t know what she wants from me

Her: Do they have milkshakes in China?

Me: Yeah, but they don’t call them shakes

Me: They call them partially gelatinous non-dairy gum-based beverages

Her: Mmmmmm, sounds tasty!

Her: So I have to go for a friendship milkshake now

Me: What the hell is that?

Her: It’s a milkshake I am buying so Erin won’t be mad at me about tubing

Me: I got ya. I guess my friends just don’t need as much stroking

Her: Yeah, well, boys are weird. They punch each other and then like fall down laughing

Her: Sometimes farting is like better than an apology