I’m all about the love, and I avoid ranting, so this is just an experiment. I am supposed to be writing a few apropos articles to the D.C. restaurant events scene for this site, the examiner, but I think I’m going to stop after this one. Each of the restaurant events only get 12 hits per day, and their UI is terrible – basically impossible for someone with a little knowledge of html to write decent posts quickly. Anyway, here I am channeling Lewis Black and seeing what comes of it. The post’s title was:
Better off dead undead events in DC this weekend
Are you a hipster? Do you know what ZOMG means? Well polish off that bag of peanut M&Ms and sign off your WOW account because I’ve got just the event for you. The Silver Spring Zombie walk! If the zombie craze didn’t jump the shark at I Am Legend, Twilight sure as hell finished it off by giving liberal arts students with self-esteem issues everywhere a reason to put on makeup daily. The one redeeming factor of this event is the of screening Shaun of the Dead, a flick that parodies zombie movies and the people who love them. Bask in the irony and tip back a few pints with your fellow Vassar alumns. BRAINS! LOLOMG!!!1ONE!
Have you always wanted to be as cool as a Filipino prison inmate? Did you buy Bad, HIStory, Dangerous, or Number Ones on June 25th this year? Well pause that TIVO’d episode of Dancing With The Stars and make sure you’ve got your bid in on all your Neverland Valley Ranch ebay auctions because I’ve got just the event for you! A lackluster sushi place is charging $20 a head for a ‘dance lesson’ so you can learn to be just like everyone else who’s dressing up as dead Michael Jackson this year. You’re better off finding a Fabio wig and one of your fat friends to perform Chippendales dance tryouts – there’s no fancy choreography to go along with that getup. So bid high on them elephant bones and say hi to Billy Mays for me. KABOOM!