As far as I can tell, this is the first official review of these abominations online. I don’t even know why I’m showing you a picture of the inside of a Burger King, it’s not like this is something that changes a lot or is quite aesthetically pleasing; it’s a Burger king in the middle of a city block in NYC, and they all look pretty much the same.
To start, they’re half ribs, not ribs. When you order six, you’re really getting three. They give you the option to order three for $1.99 when you order a value meal, but they’re $2.97 if you want to buy three alone, but that means you’re only getting one and a half ribs. A full order of six BK ribs (three whole ribs) is going to run you $5.69. Plus tax, it came to $6.19. I felt like Chris Rock in I’m Gonna Git You Sucka:
When I walked in, this was the sign plastered on window outside:
I guess they’re anti-food blogger? I was pretty careful about not flashing the camera in front of the management, but the regular employees couldn’t care less about what I was shooting. There was a cashier right below this shot of the rib promo, silent the entire time I was flouting their photography restrictions. Pretty much exactly the level of responsibility and commitment to values that you’d expect from minimum wage workers, and honestly, if I’d been in the same situation, I wouldn’t have acted any differently. Tell you what; if I’m ever taking orders behind the counter of a Burger King, and I’m not the owner of its holding company or haven’t been stricken with some brain disease limiting normal function, you have the right to strangle me with my headset on the spot. That’s an open invitation.
Here’s the official rib box:
As far as barbecue sauces go, I’m a fan of the BK BBQ. It’s pretty good. I’ll have to admit that I’m not such a connoisseur of barbecue sauces, but I like this stuff. I also prefer my ribs a little on the drier side (the exterior, not the interior), so it was nice that they gave you the dipping option instead of slathering the sauce on as the picture indicates.
Here are the new ribs, styled and unstyled:
And here’s an excerpt from the press release:
Fall-off-the-bone ribs and summer go hand-in-hand
“Fall-off-the-bone” isn’t necessarily a good thing. How does the general public not know this?
and now we are excited to be the first national fast food hamburger restaurant to offer our guests an authentic bone-in rib menu offering
You start to wonder why this industry has been around for almost 75 years and Burger King is the first to unveil this product and stop wondering at the first bite. It’s not like this idea doesn’t end up on the cutting room floor at Mickey D’s every time a new intern arrives. Have any of you Burger King execs ever read “Good to Great?” No one is going to get this. Fuck.
Our guests’ initial reaction to this product has exceeded our expectations,
Were your expectations extreme shock? Disbelief? Confusion? You fucking nailed it. On a scale of one to what-the-fuck, this one is like a Scooby Doo BOORT!?
further validating the Burger King system’s investment in our new game-changing broiler.
How much did you really invest here? You haven’t even rolled it out nationally? I haven’t seen a commercial for them yet. And you can’t include “Game Changing” in your press release unless you’re talking about an iPad or a Segway (remember that hype? Ridiculous). Fast Casual has been around for quite a while; putting ribs in your coke-machine doesn’t change anything.
Because of this proprietary cooking technology
It’s called “Broiling.” There was no new machine installed for the ribs. At least, that’s what the lackey said.
we’ve been able to up the ante in our product development across the board, and BK(TM) Fire-Grilled Ribs are just the beginning of the innovative product line we can offer with this new cooking platform.
Innovative cooking platform? So the lackey was wrong? I decided to do some research and went onto Burger King’s Corporate site. I called BK Consumer Relations at (305) 378-3535 – Here’s that conversation. Then I called BK Media Relations at (305) 378-7277 and here’s that conversation. Before I finished uploading these convos, Ashley from BK Media Relations got back to me, telling me someone else would be getting back to me, so I have to give them a bit of props there.
But I have to revoke the props. Their Twitter presence is fucking horrible. Try to find their Twitter account. Go ahead; try. I couldn’t find it. Here’s @McDonalds and here’s @BurgerKing. They don’t even own it. Not like they couldn’t pay this guy $10,000 to give up the rights to that name and then have a corporate identity on the platform going forward. Why the hell hasn’t this happened already? They’re idiots.
So to talk about the actual taste of the rib – it wasn’t awful, it just wasn’t great. There was a bit of smokiness and one had some char on it that was nice, but it seemed like the outlier, and that one happened to have the least meat on it. The consistency of my first bite was a bit mealy. You could tell they’d been frozen and thawed. The bone to meat ratio was way off. No self-respecting rib place establishment would stand for this cut of rib; the ratio is more like a ghetto Chinese joint’s rib special. You’re not getting a whole lot of meat here.
And what the fuck is this:
How is the muscle separating from itself? That’s not supposed to happen. I just finished reading The Omnivore’s Dilemma, and I have no doubt in my mind this happened because of the drugs injected into this poor pig before it was served to me. You can really see how tiny these motherfuckers are in this picture. My thumbs are not gigantic, they just appear that way in the picture.
But seriously folks. What’d you think was going to happen? You thought these were going to be awesome? Tasty? Thick and juicy? C’mon son.
This is Burger King, and they’re test marketing ribs.
UPDATE – Here’s the BK Ribs commercial:
Burger King
Everywhere
The World
(305) 378-3000
Interesting sign about no photography. Years ago when I was at a Burger King with a couple friends looking to score some grub after drinking some frosty beverages, we were having fun taking pictures and wanted a pic with the person taking our order. She said “I’m sorry, we’re not allowed to take photographs here; some of the staff out back [who were in plain view] are in witness protection, or out on prison furlow, or something like that. So you cant take any pictures in here.”
So we took some pictures with her, away from the view of the grill area. As for that unstyled picture of the ribs you have in this post, wow, man, those ribs look pretty awful!
I don’t eat at McDonalds any more, but when I did, the McRib was king!!
The McRib is still king – I mean, it’s also terrible, but it doesn’t try to be something it’s not.
Hahahahaha. That looks disgusting.
im pretty sure those are pork ribs, your corn fed cattle theory don’t stand up.
Duly noted and review adjusted.
For what it’s worth, I’ve seen commercials for these ribs (MN). I’m pretty sure they’ll fail though.
Awesome, hilarious review. Well done. Those look tiny and awful.
C’mon Son! HILARIOUS!!!!!
GETDAFUCKOUTTAHEREWITDATBULLSHIT!
I just had my first BK Ribs from a location south of Akron, Ohio and they were really good; Better than some places that are supposed to specialize in BBQ Ribs! I know from my quantity of travel that all chain restaurant food will vary from location to location…. but if you have a late night craving for BBQ Ribs, these might be worth a test. I do agree that if you’re looking for a meal then you should max the order size.
If you have to choose from the restaurants in the Greater Southern Akron area, these may very well be your best bet, I couldn’t tell you.
Dude, your from akron, go to cleveland and eat the ribs at mt. pleasant bbq. Afterwards, i garantee you that you will vomit at the thought of burger king ribs. You may like those ribs, but then again, you probably have never had “REAL RIBS” before. Real ribs take love and patience to make along w/ real smoke… Not mass produced steroid fed chemically altered pigs that take no time at all to make by someone who cares about how much money they are making at the end of the day instead of the quality of their food.
I think you’ve missed the point on a few things, like on the photography, you’re making it seem like bk has it out for bloggers and bad reviews, I’m sure they thought of ‘what about when they go home?’ I always saw it as keeping dumb teenagers from filming videos for YouTube, like going thru the drive thru with cameras and acting stupid. Also you must realize that it is fast food, not your classic rib joint, although they may taste bad, it was wrong from the start to compare them to a rib joint. Lastly, who cares about the Twitter page, thats just not that important. Of course Im tempted to try them, just as an average Joe
You’re talking to the wrong person with that sentiment about the Twitter page, and frankly, you’re wrong. It is that important. Check this out:
http://www.facebook.com/McDonalds
http://www.facebook.com/BurgerKing
Try to find their actual Facebook Page – google search for “burger king facebook”
BK doesn’t get social media. How is this possible?
Wellllll when bk priced them at 7.50 for 3 whole ribs and a small fry and drink and you can get a really good rack of ribs for 15 bucks thats when it came into comparison
Looks like they figured a way to get rid of all those Big Rats they have been infested with in New Yok . Rat Ribs mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm gooooooood!
Ratatoulli ????
I like your style Mr. Wompus. You are free to comment anytime.
haha fuckin hilarious, dont let burger king know you found out the secret, whats next cave cricket soup or centipede straws?
I guess they could have made them outa Frog Legs and called em
RIBBITS.
HA!
Had the ribs yesterday, I honestly thought they were a safer bet than the Double down, and I was pleasantly surprised. There are several Burger Kings in Savannah, Ga and due to where my day took me I was near the least consistent in quality when lunch rolled around. This place couldn’t make a decent Italian Chicken sandwich, but they can make ribs! I did prefer the the ribs without the sauce, I am a bit of a sauce connoisseur, and I think BK’s is pretty weak. Also I’m a pretty big guy 6′ 210 and the six piece filled me up pretty well. My main complaint is they don’t complete the package correctly. I try not to eat fries so I opted for onion rings on the side, I would have much rather had some greens, dirty rice, or even mac and cheese, but this location wouldn’t let me sub for kids meal easy mac.
If three ribs filled you up, you need to check yourself for tapeworms. And seriously, dirty rice? I know their slogan is “Have it Your Way,” but what do you think this is? A Popeye’s?
You do know that tapeworms can cause insatiable hunger, right?
Hagan, you are officially a moron. Cracks me up (and others) that you thought you would leave a “witty” response referencing a “tapeworm” and you TOTALLY FAILED based on the principle OF A TAPEWORM, meaning “never satisfied or full”. Seriously though, thanks for your dose of ignorance, we who have some salute you! ….MORON!
If there’s any topic in this world to be ignorant of, it would be tapeworms, right after coprophagia. I can only promise my readers never to be guilty of the latter, but I came close with these things.
I was a bit surprised yesterday to see BK offering ribs, bought the combo and thought, besides the saltiness, the ribs weren’t so bad on taste side. Would I go for second? Definitely.
The Burger King ribs I had were FANTASTIC!!!! SO thick and juicy, very meaty and grilled to perfection! BBQ sauce was awesome! I had to go back for seconds and now I’m SO addicted to them. Anyone who likes BBQ ribs has GOT to try these!!!! Oh my. My mouth is watering RIGHT NOW just thinking about it. Lucky for me, Burger King is right across the street from me, so I can have them any time I want in 5 minutes!
Either this guy works for burger king corporate and help create them or he lives in the dumpster out back and eats rotten rats. Oh by the way mr. goldstein, do yourself a favor, if you can afford it… go to a “REAL” smokehouse (preferably Rendevous in Memphis, tn) and compare the two. If you still loooooooooooooooooove burger kings ribs afterwards, then maybe you should A. Get off the drugs or B. Check yourself into the nearest mental health facility. (hey, at least the food there would probably be around the same quality as those ribs)
Might I add that i said REAL “smoke”house, not a ghetto pizza place that sells ribs
I bought them…….kinda laughed when i opened box and seen how small they were (my compliments to the photographer) but for a fast food joint the taste was ok……they tasted like ribs … really really small ribs
… like really, really small ribs. Basically one rib for $2 and they’re still really small even combined into two ribs!
one thing that kinda gets me is that some people think they cook these ribs on site……..i would say they come from there supplier precooked………just like macdonalds mcrib microwave goodness at its best
Ugh. Those look repulsive. I was very interested in trying them, and now I don’t have any desire to. Also, I’m baffled as to why they don’t allow video taping or recording or whatever. I live in Kentucky, and I’ve never noticed such signs in our local Burger King restaurants. Thanks for the review, as you’ve likely saved me from spending a night worshiping the porcelain goddess.
I just had an order of the ribs…six bucks and I’m still hungry…they were a dollar a rib…2 were twos inches…3 were three inhes and one was four inches…the four inch one looked like one of the ones in the photo you took…the other five had almost no meat at all…basically, they sold me bones for six bucks…I’d say I got about 2 oz of meat…less than half a child’s burger…the meat was dried out and hard to chew…I think 40 of these “ribs” would make a meal…this idea is going down in flames fast…I don’t see anyone falling for this ripoff twice.
Exactly! I’m skeptical of the palate of someone who could think anything else about these things.
I just tried the new ribs at Burger King . They were good . I was also reminded why the morons that work there actually work there . They didn’t give me the sauce for the ribs or my onion rings . If you can’t get a fast food order right you are definitely in the right place .
lost me at the point where he/she belittled BK workers.
This blog ain’t for everybody, honey.
I feel like BK collected bones and attached some kind of meat substance to them. I would not recommend the ribs, ever. I did eat them and was not sick, but hey they are expensive! The dollar double cheese burger is their best deal.
Agreed, but I am still a Double Cheeseburger fan from McDonald’s.
Your article needs work. I and many other cooks regularly prepare ribs that “literally” fall off the bone. Ribs from pigs and cows……. Check your science, Slow and low is the key, never above 225F degrees. Whether BK does that, I dont know, but i do think it is possible with the pre-prep they do for fast foods nowadays. Just ask any Bertolli fan!!
As for the taste, Um havent had them yet……not even thinking about it……………
What work does it need?
Hot and fast has won the National Rib Burn Off more than once. Southern smoked isn’t the only way to cook ribs.
Hagen,
Thanks for the comment on my blog. You’ve written a great, detailed review. The Burger King I went to didn’t have the sign. It wouldn’t have stopped me either. Great job!
Here’s my review:
http://thebbqgrail.com/2010/05/28/burger-king-ribs-yes-i-actually-ate-them/
I manage a burger king. Not proud of that, its a job in a place where there are none. Hate to break it to you all. We sell out of the ribs in about a day. Case comes in, sold. I don’t get it. I live in the south and there are Bar-B-que places out the wazoo and everyone of them will sell you a full rack of ribs for the same price we do. It is crazy. The 8 piece comes out to about 9 bucks. I have tried them, they are bad. But I’ll go down the road and get a plate full.
Thank you for the inside perspective … You’re exactly right. I don’t understand the price-to-rib “value” here, either.
Your review sucks. Your style sucks. You suck. You’re gay. Everyone knows what tapeworms do… it’s common sense.
Normally I wouldn’t accept reviews like this, but you nailed “your” and “you’re,” and you’re Ron Jeremy. It’s an honor to have you comment on my blog, sir. If Burger king ever does a sausage and pepper/kielbasa, may I interview you for a guest post?
I want to read your review, but your subscribe popover takes over everything so I cannot.
I was amused, and then I was annoyed. Then I refreshed, scrolled down to the bottom and delivered this kinda sternly worded missive.
Please fix. TIA.
I had that problem and also disappearing scroll bars. I was using Firefox, popped in in IE and things work. The blog may have a brower specific coding error.
Thx for the heads up. I am on it!
I was planning on giving Burger King’s pork ribs a try but after reading your review…… I think I will save my money for the next time I go to a real BBQ joint. Thanks for the pics & thanks for the review. There aren’t a lot of southern style BBQ joints in Hawaii but I’d rather not waste money on BK’s ribs.
the burger king ribs are a rip off
you get 3 half ribs like the other guy said
they didnt suck but they werent worth the price
I paid almost 10 bucks for the large value meal
when I saw the box I was like wow I bet theres something good inside there
until I opened it and saw what I actually got
6 3 inch bones with just a little meat on them and very dry
Im ready to call BKs customer line and complain
For 10 bucks you can walk into deli at lunch time get a plate of some full sized fresh ribs with a side dish and a drink for way under 10 bucks
Come on BK if your gonna charge me top dollar give me a quality product and a respectable portion!! spend less on the nice box and give me the whole rib not some cut in half crap!!
YOU FUCKIN ‘TELL ‘EM, T-BONE!
Being from Texas I know how ribs are supposed to be. Fall of the bone is an expression for tenderness and texture or the meat after it is cooked properly. Yes it is supposed to happen and yes it is a good thing. But, I’ll let it slide since you are from New York. as for the BK ribs…wow, just wow. Barbeque fast food is impossible. Barbeque takes hours or cooking and preparation and isn’t mass produced, there is nothing fast about it. It’s insulting to me that these coprorate ass holes can pass this crap off as barbeque ribs and have retarded brain washed Americans believe it. They keep sickening our minds with tv and sickening our bodies with fast food so when the grid goes down we will all be helpless morons that die off easily leaving the planet to them. We are slaves I tell you!
After reading the article, I do get the “Good to Great” reference but I wouldn’t put too much into it. Fannie Mae was on his list of Good to Great companies. Now they’re on life support thanks largely to the public dime.
I hear you on the ribs though. Who do they think they’re kidding? $6.19 for about 12 bites. Even if one liked the taste (as I did), it is a HUGE ripoff.
Great review ~ Google sent me here but I won’t bookmark your site, and I’ll tell you why not. I’m certainly no prude, but let me clue you in to something. Dropping f-bombs everywhere for no particular reason is neither cool nor intelligent, on the contrary it instantly places you in either a trailer park or the ghetto. If that’s what you want people to think of you, you’re on the right track. If you’d prefer to make a good impression on folks, you’re on the wrong track completely. Just something to think about. Regards.
I prefer to write for myself, and not for someone else.
Hey, I resent that. I live in a trailer park and I hardly ever fuckin’ swear.
thanks for the review, I wanted to try these, but on second thought I’ll pass,
I tried them yesterday. I had to get it into my mind before I did that I was tossing $9.35 out the window. So after I got over that I felt the weight of the bag and thought there was a mistake it was so light. So I pull over onpen the bag and I tried one. There was meat only on one side of the bone. The taste was good but not for that price. Not a good idea.
Excellent observations, my friend. What are they serving us half ribs for?
The no video or photography sign probably has less to do with bloggers and more to do with employees taking baths in the dish sink!
Glad for the review will try (just to say I did) the 3 piece add-on with my next whopper with low expectations.
Have the onion rings instead!
Total ripoff.. I am stupid for tryin them…2.99 for 3 little pieces of meat the size of a half thumb…..
Dude. I toldja! Lemme get one and a half ribs please …
Why are you comparing them to restaraunt ribs? Is the McRib compared to that? This is fast food ribs which I had no expectation of being the best ribs I’ve ever had. I still think that they are very good tasting and I will continue to get them as long as they are on the menu. They are small and overpriced but I don’t mind paying that for something different at a fast food joint. BK is basically declaring war on McDonald’s and fighting them on all fronts and I think they are succeeding so far. I can’t stand the gobbs of sauce on the McRib and these come plain with dipping sauce. Maybe different places cook them better than others, I don’t know, but I was very surprised to see so many people hating these things. I think maybe you were expecting too much. Once again, it is FAST FOOD not quality food.
You know you just said: “They’re small and overpriced but I will continue to buy them.”
I know and it sounds stupid but I am just saying that though they are not perfect and are about the highest thing I have ever seen on a fast food menu, they are convinient and tasty when you don’t have time to go out to a sit-down restaraunt and wait an hour for some food. I think that they are worth the ridiculous price, but that is just my opinion.
First you say “they’re overpriced,” then you say “They’re worth the ridiculous price.”
hey man,
great review. i dig your writing style and how you poked holes in their fuckin press release. i’m curious to see if they get back to you about the “new” method of cooking…sounds like a marketing gimik to me – blowin some of that “flame broiled” smoke up our asses. anyway, i tried the ribs today, wondered what people though, googled, and came across your site. well, i agree with many here – they were good, but over priced. I was actually expecting some sort of pressed meat thing press around a bone and shaped, (wonder where they would get a bare bone from? gross! humm, i guess i really didn’t think that through) so my expectations were pretty low which allowed me to be pleasantly surprised. so yea, tasty but too little for too much, unless you don’t have the time for a sit down rib place, then it maybe worth it. if price vs. value wasn’t a factor, i’d eat them again. I’m in denver, co and the BK i went to is pretty consistent and accurate. props to the employees at BK5379 (6th and broadway), you guys do a good job! Do BK employees even read this blog?? if you do, ask for a raise! dude, keep up the good writing and don’t forget those trailer-parkie FUCK bombs. peace to the mutherfucka! later…..
RIP HST.
Doctor Gonzo, I apologize for not responding to your comment more quickly. You’re right – there are probably parts of the country where these things are the best thing going, and they’re probably different at a lot of places (my experience might not be the same as everyone else’s). You’re right about the price, though. Fuck, they’re expensive!
Fuckedy fuck fuck FUCK!
We just posted a fine and humorous review of Burger King’s new ribs from Crash in Memphis.
Thanks for the link!
Yeah the new method of cooking is to throw tiny microwaved processed meat on your grill for a second to give is a “charred” look, and fool the majority of Americans into thinking these are real spare ribs. Forget low and slow, these ribs are soley to nuke and watch puke.
Oh and to the tool bag who doesn’t like the language I say hahahahaha FOOL!
Thank you for your comments, Dirt Ass. I hope you comment more because I just love saying “Dirt Ass,” Dirt Ass.
I enjoyed the flavor. Not much value though. I can get a whole slab at a great rib house for just twice the price of BK’s eight half-ribs. Good flavor but poor value. I won’t be back for these any more.
Spot on, JJ. I don’t get why people think these things are acceptable for the price. There’s like no rib.
yes, I was feeling daring and bought some myself. I was horribly dismayed at the size, price, horrid taste, and dessicated refried quality of these SAD LITTLE RIBLETS! This poor pig died without dignity… it was all I could do to eat them all so that the piggy didn’t indeed die in vain! Worse yet, I was driving to a gig and they gave me NO SAUCE with them! Someone at BK must really hate food and the clones that eat there… I literally wanted to take them back inside and THROW them at the people who worked there… it seemed the only real response to them… but I know that they had only little to do with my experience. I took time out of my busy day to just vent about how truly horrid they were… in fact, it was a self fulfilling prophecy….
Okay, these are just bad, and I’m still hungry. Needed the sauce to cover the taste….
I think they should have named them Riblets instead of Ribs. I have had them a couple of times and found them to be tasty. You have to remember that it is fast food and not ‘real’ BBQ. I will definitely eat them again, this coming from a native Texan who knows good BBQ, but like I said it is fast food, not BBQ that has been grilling all day on a pit.
We respectfully disagree with Kellie’s opinion and encourage you not to bother with Burger King’s Rib offering.
If you like the ribs, I can direct you to a few dumpsters if you ever come to Washington. That would be a cheaper alternative.
k, so i had some ribs at the bk on ft knox, ky…..welllllllll would not spend the money on them again…..very small, hardly any meat…and to top it off, i had to go back and get the “sauce”!!! the guy didn’t know they came with it!!!! even though he was standing under the advertisement for them!!! duh, doesn’t bk give cooking and serving instructions to their employees????? but it was just the same gross pre-packaged bbq sauce they give out with the chicken things…very disappointing to me!!!
It’s fast food for crissake. You got too much time on your hands..
May I take this time to point out that you commented on my site.
I once dated a girl who refused to go to any fast food restaurants or chains for that matter. I dumped her the next day. Food snobbery is only found in the USA: Land of the obsese and finicky.
TWICE!
you are a total turd in your review of the ribs.they are the greatest thing ,since sliced bread,you little no excuse for f…………in turd
Please join me in mourning for the loss of Cheeseburger Kid’s taste buds. We hardly knew ye.
I LOVED THESE FUH’N RIBS. LIMITED TIME PROMOTION BULLSHAT!!!!
You are allowed to say fuck in my comments section, and I believe you meant “BULLSHIAT!”
That was a hilarious advert, and the ribs were only half ribs but they were part of $8.99 value meal before adding the 11% sales tax at the local BK near my house. I think it worked out to $11 something. By the time people who could afford them started to like them, they were discontinued due to unavailability. My guess is the BK food suppliers purchased a distressed shipment of ribs. The store cost for the ribs was $200 a case.
Ridiculous! I can’t believe they got away with charging that much! How many per case, did you know?
Lets talk about their new commercial with those stupid fucking idiots singing like a bunch of brain dead cocksuckers. who does burger kings adds?? a fucking group of chimps??
BK has got to have the most stupid fucking irritating adds ever on tv . plus their food sucks donkey dick fucking garbage
Actually, My brother’s company does them, John. Thanks for the constructive criticism, though!
Whoever wrote this article lacks good taste. An hero is the only way.
Howdy! I know this is kinda off topic nevertheless I’d figured I’d ask. Would you be interested in exchanging links or maybe guest authoring a blog article or vice-versa? My blog addresses a lot of the same subjects as yours and I think we could greatly benefit from each other. If you happen to be interested feel free to shoot me an e-mail. I look forward to hearing from you! Terrific blog by the way!
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